I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
