idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
tell me about the fingering
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
