wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
