I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
