Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
