so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize
