My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
