we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Randomize
