i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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