Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
