I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
