K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
