Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I just found puke in my bra..
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
