im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
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