I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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