She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I'm having to shit out rocks
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