New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
