party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
