I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
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