Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
