yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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