I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
