Umm I'm too high to move.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
