she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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