All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
This is classic penis vs brain.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
