God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
