Christians are straight up FREAKS
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
