Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
