this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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