i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
