shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I just want to make out with him forever
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
