well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
When did angry sex become our thing?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
