I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I will be naked everywhere
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
