Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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