Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
