How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
