Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
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