Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
