Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
My apartment stinks of burning failure
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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