I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
