Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
