bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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