Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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