I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
