Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i was born a porn star she said
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
