I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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