highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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