vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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