we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
