4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
