You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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